seems to be the emphasis of our lives right now. We recently found out that my father-in-law has esophageal cancer. Makes me remember once again just how precious life is. Madi doesn't have too many people that have been consistant in her life, but Nana and Papa are 2 such people. So far we've just told her that Papa is very sick. And Papa being sick is just one new obstacle that is facing us right now.
We have had to stop all communication between Madison and her mother. It just triggered too many nightmares, bedwetting, regression, etc.. Her mother is pregnant again. My brother in law and his fiancee have plans to adopt the baby. I know life can be unfair, and I am not taking away from the fact that this is a new life we're talking about, but it angers me to know that someday...Dennis and I will have to find a way to explain to Madison that she has another sibling. And I thought it was going to be tough enough to have to explain one day why Morgan doesn't live with us. This will be even tougher.
Madison has begun counseling again here in Virginia Beach. Her counselor recommends that for the time being, the new baby should be her "cousin" since it is my brother-in-law that will be adopting it. Madi is also scheduled to have a full neurological work-up. The counselor is very perplexed as to "Madi's condition." Madison shows signs of many things.....ADHD, PTSD, and then possibly just the fact that she had a rough childhood with neglect, making her behave the way she does now. It will be nice to finally get the answers we need to help her adjust to life the way a 5 year should!
Madison is also starting to get adjusted to Daddy's new work schedule. We had him all to ourselves in Key West...but now he has already had to leave for 3 weeks to go for Navy deployment work-ups...next he'll be gone almost the entire month of Oct and then leave again mid Nov for a few weeks. We haven't even begun to tell her what is coming up next year, when he leaves on the boat for a 6 month deployment.
She is now finishing her first week of kindergarten and seems to be loving it. And so far she's gotten happy faces everyday. Pre-k was a bit more of a challenge for us, because it was just about every other day she was getting a sad face. We're crossing our fingers that the happy faces continue!!
So far, (knock on wood) Dennis and I are strong, healthy people. I know we'll be able to face the challenges we have in front of us, and will be able to find the words needed to help make Madison understand her life when the time comes. Right now I just keep reminding myself not to get caught up in the monotony of each day, and to make each day new and exciting for Madi.
And why do I do that? Because I can!
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My only suggestion is take one day and one obstacle at a time. Her questions will come in time - and don't over answer them. Just tell her the basic answer. No need to elaborate until necessary. Madi is progressing nicely, she feels safe with you, and looks so happy! Nasty childhoods do not leave overnight - it took me years to move on. I am sure you see some progress regularly. Hang in there. Saying prayers for you, your dad and your family.
ReplyDeletePraying for you guys.
ReplyDeleteAlso check into perhaps Reactive Attachment Disorder. Not saying that Madison has this, but I remember some of her behaviors that reminded me of a girl that I nannied for several years back. This little girl had spent the first 18 months of her life in a baby swing in a Ukrainian orphanage. At age 3, she still hadn't completely recovered physically. Age 4 and 5 we saw huge progress, emotionally and behaviorly. The bedwetting finally stopped at age 6. At age 7, when I got married and stopped working for the family, the girl was still in therapy....but still had a ways to go.
Yes, you can....I love your attitude. God never promised us that this life would be easy, or that any challenge that we face would be all hearts and flowers. But He did promise to walk beside us always.